blog (aka wisdom bombs)
here's where i drop 'em like it's hot, from my Feminine Genius to yours.

When did “feminist” become a dirty word?


A few days ago, I got a piece of incredible news: my new book, Feminine Genius, was placed on Bustle’s list of “13 Books To Read If You Feel Alone In Your Feminism.”  I was totally floored.

And then the list of the 13 books was published, and my heart fell out of my body.  Feminine Genius is on the list with books like Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ Women Who Run With the Wolves, Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, and Heartbreak, a new book by Andrea Dworkin.

Women Who Run was the first book I ever read in which I felt the glimmer that being a woman needn’t be a life of bondage, inferiority, and fakeness.

Holy shizzle, I’m on a page with my own personal shero lighthouse as well as writers and thinkers that blew open the doors of my mind in college!

In the company of such great champions of women, do I feel alone in my feminism? ​​​​​​​

Here’s what happened to let me know that yeah, I kind of do.  The other week in spin class, a friend of mine said to the folks in class, “Hey, did you know LiYana just wrote a book?”

​​​​​​​Woman #1:  “That’s great, congratulations.  What is it?” ​​​​​​​

Me:  “Feminine Genius.”

​​​​​​​Woman #1:  “Oh, I’m not a feminist.  I want my partner to take out the garbage.” ​​​​​​​

Woman #2:  “I’m a strong woman, but I’m definitely not a feminist.”

​​​​​​​Me [inside my own head]:  Huh? ​​​​​​​ read full post ››

Need an “assist” from life?

Do you have a cynical side like me?

Mine can get pretty intense, and when it flares up like a crotchety old man, I feel disconnected from everyone and disillusioned by everything, as though a grey little raincloud is parked over my head, misting me with ennui.

My cynical side is impervious to chipper advice, gratitude practices, or lavender baths.  I don’t know exactly what has it ease up and let the sunshine and bounce of my optimistic side take a turn at bat.

I’ve got no tried-and-true formula for that one, but I do have a good story to share about getting a recent “assist” from life that had my cynical side perfectly happy to go take a nice long nap.

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Three secrets to self-worth

If you don’t (yet) love yourself as a default setting, or if you don’t (yet) automatically assume that others just can’t wait to fall in love with you, you are not alone.

Most of us don’t (yet).  It is an all-out epidemic — a pandemic — that must be changed.

And to help change it, I’d love to share with you three potent secrets to radiant yet humble self-worth.  May I?  {I thought so.} read full post ››

How to guarantee you’ll feel like a failure

I spent much of the first 30 years of my life trying to succeed, win, be chosen, fix myself, feel special, and beat the odds.  (Sound familiar?)

I would hold up an ideal in my mind (perfect body, ideal business success, a certain financial accomplishment, a model way of mothering or friend-ing, etc.) and then I would bend and contort myself, working through pain and fatigue, and doing anything necessary, to fully morph into that ideal.  (Sound familiar?)

After spending much of my life caught in such madness, however, I developed some pretty surprising perspectives on where that madness comes from and how to change it.  So, onward, shall we?

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Burning up with jealousy

Let’s talk about jealousy, shall we?

That kind of jealousy that burns through you while you are just walking along through your life, doing your best, and minding your own business, and then in waltzes some goddess, maybe you know her, maybe you don’t, and she’s doing that thing that you want so much in your heart of hearts, and doing it with some otherworldly kind of power and grace.

The kind of jealousy that rips out your guts and leaves you feeling like shit, especially since you know you should be gracious and be happy for her and all that.

As crazy as it seems, there IS a way to have another woman’s brilliance light you up rather than dim you down.  There IS a way to use jealousy to affirm your own greatness rather than confirm you are a hopeless mess.

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