blog (aka wisdom bombs)
here's where i drop 'em like it's hot, from my Feminine Genius to yours.

Being a woman is not a fallen condition

Maybe you are a unicorn (or a toddler or a rare millennial) and still have pride for your womanhood or girlhood coursing through your veins.

For most of us, however, it’s a very different state of affairs.

(Get ready for a hearty bit of “bad news,” after which I will happily share the really good news).

If you follow some Christianity-inspired myths, Eve, the first woman, was tossed out of Garden of Eden for the crimes of thinking for herself and disobeying a male deity.

And her punishment was – for the rest of time and for the rest of womankind – to experience shame for her body, pain in childbirth, and to be subordinate and second-class to men.

If you follow some Islam and Judaism-inspired myths, just by being born into a woman’s body you are one misstep away from being a harlot or temptress, and one month away from being unclean or untouchable.

Your s*xual power is so great that if you choose to wear a miniskirt instead of your coveralls one night to a party or one day to the market and someone assaults you, it’s proof you asked for it.

If you follow some beauty-industry-inspired myths (and especially if you come from the worlds of dance, athletics, or fashion), to get ahead you need to be more like a boy or a man:

Lose that body fat, those curves, and those mood swings.   Do whatever (and I mean whatever) it takes to resemble a thin, lean, defined adolescent boy – who doesn’t bleed, complain, or cry.

And then highlight those approved “feminine” parts of you that are okay to have – perky breasts, rouged lips, manicured nails, and a pleasing smile.

The world isn’t yet set up to reflect what women – 51% of the population, mind you – need to thrive and be happy.

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Three kinds of perfectionism (and which will kill you)

As I see it, there are actually three kinds of perfectionism.

Perfectionism Type I: Cover Up Your Flaws

My first career was as a professional modern dancer.  When I started training in earnest when I was 13, I quickly learned the rules for “making it,” which turn out to be the same for a dancer as for a woman:

Be ON all the time, thin, pretty, pleasing, and tough.

This is an impossibly tall order for most of us, and in trying to “make it” we stuff down, deny, and hide certain parts of ourselves, absolutely certain we are flawed and insufficient as we are.

When this cover-up job really gets rolling, it becomes a full-blown war with ourselves and it gets a fancy title: Perfectionism.

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What is Better Than Looking Great?

I mean, really, IS there anything that’s better than looking great?  

It would seem that, as women, most of our attention, time, creativity, care, obsession, and focus goes toward how we look, ideally toward looking good, great, acceptable, lovable, etc.

One of the greatest areas of life that hobbles women the most is how we look — and who looks at us and how they look at us.  The dominant culture hands us a script for how we should look, and reminds us to never STOP focusing on how we look (under penalty of loss of love and belonging).  

And we also chime in on the oppression by oppressing ourselves, by spending so much of our time and attention on how we look.

And yet, for many of us, we’ve seen our compulsion for what it is and have begun to channel our precious resources (of attention, time, creativity, focus, etc) elsewhere and have come to realize that yes:

There IS something better than LOOKING great, and that is FEELING great.


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the fatal flaw in “course in miracles” thinking …

I am pretty sure I will be skewered for this, but I have finally put words to something that has been churning in my gut for a long time. 


So here goes.

I am not a scholar of a Course in Miracles, and I am commenting not on the Course itself, but on an aspect of the philosophy I hear espoused through many popular, visible, and wise teachers, who are themselves inspired and sourced from the Course’s philosophy.

The intentions behind this philosophy are buoyant and gorgeous:  for each of us to realize that we are in partnership with the Divine (by whatever name you call it) at all times and that we are always at choice to BE love and light.  That we need not be compelled to move the way fear makes us move.  To realize we are never separate from God herself.  That the only real choice we have is to act from love or from fear.

So much good stuff there.

But here’s where the fatal flow shows up.

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hacking magic


at the end of december last year, i got an offer from my dream publisher to publish my first book.

its working title is Feminine Genius and it is slated to make its way into this world in spring of 2017.

i define Feminine Genius as the intelligence a woman uses to source her truth, her choices, and her contributions to the world that is divine in origin and felt by her in her body.

(note:  men have Feminine Genius too, but my book is written for women).

at that alchemical moment in time that is new year’s eve, when one year gives way to a new one, i asked my husband a question:  what do you see and want for me, this year, as i write this book?

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