Can you remind me? I’ve forgotten. Why exactly should I get out of bed this morning?

Okay, it’s a little less dramatic than all that. I mean, I’m up and dressed and made tea and even eaten the eggs my son didn’t eat from his breakfast. I’m up. I’m at ’em.

But this morning I’m sad and tired and discouraged. Lonely AF.

I got an email from someone wonderful and very famous sharing a recent success in her writing career. I don’t begrudge her success, but the scope of it socked me in the gut and triggered a spiral down to nowhere good.

When it comes to my business and writing career, my “voice” is small. On a good day, the peace I’ve made with that fact shines bright. Not so much on days like today. I’ve been singing at the top of my lungs, giving it everything I’ve got, for nearly two decades. And my “voice” is still barely audible.

I call this my “WHY BOTHER” hole.

WHY BOTHER is what it sounds like when I howl from the bottom of familiar pit that I fall into sometimes, a fall that strangles me and obliterates the sky.

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Happy Valentine’s Day — or happy Day of the Heart as they call it at my son’s school.

Can I just say I can’t believe it’s February? I’m finally feeling really well-prepared for September … of last year. Well, then. Onward.}

So, a couple days ago we got a puppy. Nine weeks old, the little thing. She’s a bundle of joy and exuberance and quite possibly the cutest thing ever. She’s already mastered peeing on her special pad. But poop? Not so much.

Stay with me a sec so I can link up self-love with puppy poops.

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Although I haven’t always been, I am very picky about who I learn from.

After some times of being misled, bamboozled, and relieved of large sums of money, I am extremely discerning about who I let into my heart, let influence my energy, and let care for the well-being of my psyche while they help me transform into the next version of me.

Nowadays, I make my choice fairly quickly whether I will or won’t learn from any particular person. It’s a swift bodily affirmation. But I thought it might be useful to break down what I’m paying attention to, as I make my choices.

May it be useful to you as you make your own.

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If the whole “Carpae-The-Next-365-Diems” thing isn’t feeling right to you for some reason, may this odd article of mine below shed some light on why.

I have always been suspicious of setting resolutions at the start of a new year.

You know how resolutions go … diets last about 3 hours (or maybe 3 days if you’re really hardassed and depending how much chocolate and chips you have in your pantry). Workout regimes last about 3 days (or 3 weeks if you’re really hard nosed and depending on how much you actually loathe those step aerobics classes).

But recently, trying to set goals is feeling more hollow and disorienting than usual.

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at the end of december last year, i got an offer from my dream publisher to publish my first book.

its working title is Feminine Genius and it is slated to make its way into this world in spring of 2017.

i define Feminine Genius as the intelligence a woman uses to source her truth, her choices, and her contributions to the world that is divine in origin and felt by her in her body.

(note:  men have Feminine Genius too, but my book is written for women).

at that alchemical moment in time that is new year’s eve, when one year gives way to a new one, i asked my husband a question:  what do you see and want for me, this year, as i write this book?

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