KC Baker

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"i dance.  a lot.  by myself at home and out in nature.  at events and parties.  i get a good deal of inner guidance and some really awesome ideas when i dance.  opening to the flow of creativity and beauty that moves through my whole body when i dance has been a deep aspect my path, my evolution and my connection to divinity.

i spend a lot of time in nature.  i pray in nature.  i pray to nature.  my prayers are often songs.  this practice opens my heart and brings me a great deal of joy and satisfaction.

i love my body.  i take great care of it.  i love adorning myself.  my body is my temple as well as my favorite canvas with which to make art.

i love to feel pleasure in my body.  i let myself cry and get pissed and feel afraid.  allowing this has been a real journey because i have had to navigate a great deal of shame around my body and my true feelings.

i relish being with my girlfriends.

i love breastfeeding my baby and caring for my baby.  i love soothing my baby.

i am devoted to living with an open, loving heart and to being a source of love and light for my family, my friends and the world.  that doesn't mean that i am that way all the time.  sometimes i am pissy and stressed and fearful, and it can be hard to be around me!  but i am constantly in quest of what my deepest truth is, and i find that process continues to unveil my heart.

my work and leadership arises from love.

i feel a deep well of compassion for the struggle many women go through in feeling held back in sharing what they have to say with the world.

i have been there.  and i have come through to the other side.

so, i know that suffering deeply, and my work stems from a love and reverence for every woman who longs to free her voice and to contribute to our world.

i also feel a deep love for our planet.  i love living here and i truly believe it is possible for us to live and love and work and create here while simultaneously taking care of the well being of our earth and of one another.  i know in my bones women's ideas and wisdom will help us learn how to do this as a species.

and so, i lead by standing up and proclaiming my love for our world and what i believe is possible for us.  i lead by serving women of wisdom in getting out there and doing the same with their own messages.

i am continually navigating layers of self doubt and fear of rejection, but it's my commitment to this loving and this vision for our world that keep me in action."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"i work for the planet.

women's wisdom, creativity and ideas will support humanity in addressing and solving the great challenges of our times.

i was born to do this work.

what i have to say matters.

my ideas are valuable.

i can do this."

Regena Thomashauer

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"if i'm not turned on, then i'm not living through the feminine.  “turned on” for me means being tuned in to my body, choosing my own joy above all other values and deciding to feel alive and to enliven wherever i am.  i organize my life by asking myself, 'how can i be more turned on more of the time?' and then i take those actions and those steps.

i listen to my body, i listen to my deepest intuition, i feel more than think or use reason or logic.  i use the discipline of pleasure as my tuning fork for how i make my decisions, where i place my attention, how i spend my time, or how i support the world.

our culture doesn't typically support a woman's turn on.  it’s hard to stay connected to our power in corporate america, church or synagogue.  if a woman wants to keep her home fires burning, she has to be disciplined around her pleasure, right smack in the middle of a patriarchal culture.

when i make sure i've had a phenomenally gratifying day, moving my body, surrounding myself with team that's generous and fun and enjoys each other, fueled by great food, flirting, enjoying, then when my daughter is having a rough day or requires a lot, instead of snapping like a brittle branch, i have so much surplus to give her, because i have been disciplined about my own pleasure.

feminine love is really, really generous and patient.  it has a huge range of expressions, from dark to light.  even if i rage, it’s with love behind it and it's experienced differently than rage that's not rooted in a foundation of love and pleasure.

i lead from the feminine by always asking, 'how i can i be of greatest service?'

i look at what matters most deeply to me.  i look at the people who work for me, in my community, my clients, students, participants and readers and i look to see how i can contribute to them and how i can bring the best out of them.

it's turned out that this is really sound leadership.

the discipline of pleasure isn't understood.  people think it's like la la la la , lying in hammock in the sun eating bon bons.  but it truly takes something to be constantly stoking coals of divinity, mind, heart, sensuality; to fall to your knees and pay tribute.  it’s not simple, but it’s worth it."

an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?

"when i got divorced.  my daughter was 7, i was a single mom and i was left with a business that was quarter million in debt and no income except for what i could generate.  it was a really scary time because i wanted my daughter to have everything and i wanted my school to prevail.

even though i was totally terrified, in an insecure financial position and had so much responsibility, i had to go beyond myself and my doubts.  without those intense demands, and without the discipline of pleasure, i never would have grown into myself as mom, business owner or educator.

my success, which has been beyond my imagination – the school growing so big, its impact so wide – was a direct result of having no recourse but to be successful.  i simply had to stand in my power and make it work.

all courtesans always start with nothing.  ‘nothing’ is a wonderful beginning to everything.  dire straits give you the opportunity to be so creative."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"women are the greatest untapped natural resource in the world.

the divine feminine lives within me and every single woman; the way to access that is through the discipline of pleasure.

it’s up to women to awaken other women through our self-love.

you can be a bonfire, but you have you bring your own fuel."

the world you see possible that others may or may not see:

"when you doubt and depreciate yourself, you teach your daughter to doubt and question herself.  if, while you raise your daughter, you love your self, prioritize pleasure, know the value of your joy, and are strong in your voice and opinion, then you spread the infectious virus of self love and to every woman and girl.

i see a world of sisterhood, where women walking down the street see sister and see divinity when they look at each other.  when women are supporting each other's dreams and desires, it's as though you add jet fuel propulsion.

once a woman's voice is heard with equal measure to the masculine, there will be balance in the world."

Jena la Flamme

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"first of all, i live from an understanding that the feminine is valuable.  i grew up believing that masculine traits were more valuable than feminine ones.  i didn’t want to be disempowered, bound and impotent in the world like i saw the feminine to be.  i decided if wanted to be successful, wealthy, and free, i would have to be like a man.

i know now that the feminine brings light, play, grace, joy, wonder and beauty and all this counterbalances all the other masculine accomplishment in deliciously satisfying way that actually makes it all worthwhile.  without the feminine, the masculine is no path to happiness.

i allot time and money for the explicit purpose of cultivating and radiating my light: dancing, attention on how i dress (i used to wear practical black all the time), time with sisters, music, and play of all sorts.

for me, we women are the embodiment of divine energy.  it’s not something that happens after you die, it's now and it’s through us.  i love as if the divine feminine needed me to be her conduit, as if she can only exist through my actions or any woman's actions.

this allows me to love with passion, compassion and healthy boundaries.  sometimes the way to love is to allow another to hurt a bit rather than pandering to their insecurities.  to love with truth is to love as the divine feminine.

i source my leadership from the confidence in the wisdom that is inherent in being female.  our wisdom knows like nature knows: just trees know how to grow, that knowing that can be counted on.

leading from this wisdom doesn't need rationalization or proof, there is a common sense to it, an optimism to it, trust to it.  i trust in the web of life and relationships, i believe in collaboration more than competition, and i must include pleasure in the process!  if someone's not having a good time, i see it as a red flag, rater than the other way around.  i look out for other's pleasure and challenge them if they are not finding satisfaction with what they are doing.  i have no tolerance for a no-pain-no-gain method and have found that everything can be accomplished in a flowing, joyful way."

an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?

"i was raped when i was 15 years old.  i had no one to tell and felt it was not safe to say anything, so just blocked it out of my memory for several years.  i shut down my whole life, barely worked and went from high grades to barely passing.

when i was 19 i did yoga and learned how to feel and be present with my emotions.  it all came rushing back and i faced it, the anger, pain and trauma of violation; i looked it squarely in the eye, felt every single blow that i was denied feeling before.  i cried all the tears, went into counseling, did rituals, took time off in nature, and i healed.  i pulled away from men for some time until i completed my process in my safe cocoon.  in the process of healing my wounds and sexual trauma, i found forgiveness for my perpetrator and more importantly, i found an esteem for myself where i realized i am a healer because i had just succeeded in healing myself.  that esteem in myself as a healer has carried me through my life and career; it is something i've never doubted, because i know the power of my own transformation."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"i'm the embodiment of the divine feminine on earth.

my female body is sacred.

my sexuality is pure and innocent.

my pleasure is a prayer that blesses myself and others.

i'm not separate from other people; we all share the same breath; we are all connected.

i have something valuable to offer the world and the value will be rewarded, including monetarily."

the world you see possible that others may or may not see:

"one in which every aspect of our female bodies are considered sacred.  this includes revering what i call "erotic innocence".  erotic innocence is our impulses and instincts toward the sensual, erotic, sexual and pleasurable.  it is innocent by nature because it arises from the part of you that came on line before the mind came on line to judge it as right or wrong.  because it is prior to judgment, it is innocent.

this part of you always knows the truth of whether you like something or you don't.  it expands to what you want and it contracts from what you don't want.  it's a trustworthy guide that always that teaches you your truth in the moment.

so i see a world in which we are taught to cultivate erotic innocence, honestly with ourselves.  this includes the skills of healthy boundaries so we can be appropriately protected from abuse, manipulation and danger.

we can always reclaim it if we feel it lost, and we can always find safety in innocence again."

Nisha Moodley

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"i continuously exhale into my pace.  there's a river that runs through me and when i can connect to the ever-changing-yet-distinct pace of that river, i'm in my feminine flow.  i trust that from that place, my decisions – about business, relationships, you name it – are good, wise, grounded decisions.  when i make space for my pace, i am clear, committed, confident & courageous.

i believe that in the new paradigm of feminine leadership, we teach more by how we're being than what we're saying.  for myself, leading from the feminine requires me to create an inner and outer world for myself that i would be proud for anyone to witness.  it's gorgeous self-care, deep self-love, devotion to my desires and attention on alignment.  if i'm not living what i teach, i'm teaching (and living) from a lie."

an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?

"the first one that comes to mind is the most epic heartbreak of my life.  i was crushed. completely, absolutely, helplessly crushed.  it happened less than a week before a launch that coincided with my birthday, and i was so deep in my despair that i could barely breathe through the tears at times.  i managed to navigate it all while being fully present – sob on a girlfriend's lap for an hour, eat soup, work for an hour, repeat.  i rode the big, big waves of emotion, took beautiful care of myself and launched on time.  i learned 3 huge things:

1. i am one resilient chick.  i was courageous enough to feel it all, crumble to pieces, and pick myself up again, better than before.  i learned what i was made of.

2. good girlfriends love you so much that they are totally willing – even wanting – to hold you while you crumble.  i learned that it is my sacred duty to reach out when i'm in the depths of it, to receive that love.

3. when a heart is broken, it breaks open and is bigger, stronger and more courageous than ever…  if you let it.  i learned to surf."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"the world will be set free by women who are free, and sisterhood is the key.

all people are good and doing their best.

life is a wonderful, beautiful gift (even the 'bad' stuff).

the more open a heart is, the better life will be."

the world you see possible that others may or may not see:

"i see a world where women see one another's desires as good and valid, whatever they may be, and support one another in the realization of these desires.  when our sisters hold our desires as 'right' – whether they are to start a multi-billion dollar company or be a stay-at-home mama – it opens up a space for us to desire bigger and brighter than ever before."

Wendy K Yalom

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"i have a daily body practice, yoga, dance or walking.  i wear clothing that i find beautiful and pleasurable to be seen in.  and, i share my feminine radiance as often as possible, both in how i adorn my body and through my physicality, the glow of my smile or the pleasure of my eye gaze.

for me, loving from the feminine is to love without expectation or assumption or strategy.  i practice 'loving with my head and thinking with my heart.'  i am in constant curiosity of how i can open another to the present moment and open them to love.

if i was to receive a medal for living life from the feminine, i would want it to be for a moment when i feel despair, sadness and hurt and i surrender instantly and effortlessly to it, knowing this too is god.

i lead from the feminine by trusting that my desires and dreams are born of a future that is freer than the current one.  it is as much my privilege as it is my responsibility to lead others to believe in and participate in my vision."

an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?

"i recently had a devastating wtf kind of heartbreak that left me feeling hopeless, lost and so, so sad.  i felt it, really felt it.  then, i got curious and asked, 'how could this too be god? how can i transmute this here now to be recognizable as love?'  i took all the energy and grief and transmuted it into poetry.  somehow stepping into the beauty and brilliance of the poem itself gave beautiful dimension to the heartbreak.  it turned it from, 'why is this happening to me?' to, 'wow, this is happening to me!'

i'm having a love affair
with god.
typically he serenades me with beauty
brilliance and
joy knowing exactly
what combination sings open my heart
but recently he penetrated me with despair
shot me up with hopelessness left me with longing
brought his mouth to
my ear, his hands held tight to my face and whispered try loving me now.
then kissed me passionately on the lips.
i'm having a love affair with god.
it's not always easy
but i'm a far greater woman for each truthful moment of it."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"when we are rooted in the knowing that 'we belong,' anything is possible.

my default way of being is a state of effortless delight and joy.

this too is god."