Jena la Flamme

how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"

"first of all, i live from an understanding that the feminine is valuable.  i grew up believing that masculine traits were more valuable than feminine ones.  i didn’t want to be disempowered, bound and impotent in the world like i saw the feminine to be.  i decided if wanted to be successful, wealthy, and free, i would have to be like a man.

i know now that the feminine brings light, play, grace, joy, wonder and beauty and all this counterbalances all the other masculine accomplishment in deliciously satisfying way that actually makes it all worthwhile.  without the feminine, the masculine is no path to happiness.

i allot time and money for the explicit purpose of cultivating and radiating my light: dancing, attention on how i dress (i used to wear practical black all the time), time with sisters, music, and play of all sorts.

for me, we women are the embodiment of divine energy.  it’s not something that happens after you die, it's now and it’s through us.  i love as if the divine feminine needed me to be her conduit, as if she can only exist through my actions or any woman's actions.

this allows me to love with passion, compassion and healthy boundaries.  sometimes the way to love is to allow another to hurt a bit rather than pandering to their insecurities.  to love with truth is to love as the divine feminine.

i source my leadership from the confidence in the wisdom that is inherent in being female.  our wisdom knows like nature knows: just trees know how to grow, that knowing that can be counted on.

leading from this wisdom doesn't need rationalization or proof, there is a common sense to it, an optimism to it, trust to it.  i trust in the web of life and relationships, i believe in collaboration more than competition, and i must include pleasure in the process!  if someone's not having a good time, i see it as a red flag, rater than the other way around.  i look out for other's pleasure and challenge them if they are not finding satisfaction with what they are doing.  i have no tolerance for a no-pain-no-gain method and have found that everything can be accomplished in a flowing, joyful way."

an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?

"i was raped when i was 15 years old.  i had no one to tell and felt it was not safe to say anything, so just blocked it out of my memory for several years.  i shut down my whole life, barely worked and went from high grades to barely passing.

when i was 19 i did yoga and learned how to feel and be present with my emotions.  it all came rushing back and i faced it, the anger, pain and trauma of violation; i looked it squarely in the eye, felt every single blow that i was denied feeling before.  i cried all the tears, went into counseling, did rituals, took time off in nature, and i healed.  i pulled away from men for some time until i completed my process in my safe cocoon.  in the process of healing my wounds and sexual trauma, i found forgiveness for my perpetrator and more importantly, i found an esteem for myself where i realized i am a healer because i had just succeeded in healing myself.  that esteem in myself as a healer has carried me through my life and career; it is something i've never doubted, because i know the power of my own transformation."

your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:

"i'm the embodiment of the divine feminine on earth.

my female body is sacred.

my sexuality is pure and innocent.

my pleasure is a prayer that blesses myself and others.

i'm not separate from other people; we all share the same breath; we are all connected.

i have something valuable to offer the world and the value will be rewarded, including monetarily."

the world you see possible that others may or may not see:

"one in which every aspect of our female bodies are considered sacred.  this includes revering what i call "erotic innocence".  erotic innocence is our impulses and instincts toward the sensual, erotic, sexual and pleasurable.  it is innocent by nature because it arises from the part of you that came on line before the mind came on line to judge it as right or wrong.  because it is prior to judgment, it is innocent.

this part of you always knows the truth of whether you like something or you don't.  it expands to what you want and it contracts from what you don't want.  it's a trustworthy guide that always that teaches you your truth in the moment.

so i see a world in which we are taught to cultivate erotic innocence, honestly with ourselves.  this includes the skills of healthy boundaries so we can be appropriately protected from abuse, manipulation and danger.

we can always reclaim it if we feel it lost, and we can always find safety in innocence again."