how do you live, love & lead from "the feminine?"
"if i'm not turned on, then i'm not living through the feminine. “turned on” for me means being tuned in to my body, choosing my own joy above all other values and deciding to feel alive and to enliven wherever i am. i organize my life by asking myself, 'how can i be more turned on more of the time?' and then i take those actions and those steps.
i listen to my body, i listen to my deepest intuition, i feel more than think or use reason or logic. i use the discipline of pleasure as my tuning fork for how i make my decisions, where i place my attention, how i spend my time, or how i support the world.
our culture doesn't typically support a woman's turn on. it’s hard to stay connected to our power in corporate america, church or synagogue. if a woman wants to keep her home fires burning, she has to be disciplined around her pleasure, right smack in the middle of a patriarchal culture.
when i make sure i've had a phenomenally gratifying day, moving my body, surrounding myself with team that's generous and fun and enjoys each other, fueled by great food, flirting, enjoying, then when my daughter is having a rough day or requires a lot, instead of snapping like a brittle branch, i have so much surplus to give her, because i have been disciplined about my own pleasure.
feminine love is really, really generous and patient. it has a huge range of expressions, from dark to light. even if i rage, it’s with love behind it and it's experienced differently than rage that's not rooted in a foundation of love and pleasure.
i lead from the feminine by always asking, 'how i can i be of greatest service?'
i look at what matters most deeply to me. i look at the people who work for me, in my community, my clients, students, participants and readers and i look to see how i can contribute to them and how i can bring the best out of them.
it's turned out that this is really sound leadership.
the discipline of pleasure isn't understood. people think it's like la la la la , lying in hammock in the sun eating bon bons. but it truly takes something to be constantly stoking coals of divinity, mind, heart, sensuality; to fall to your knees and pay tribute. it’s not simple, but it’s worth it."
an important dark night of your soul, and what it made possible for you?
"when i got divorced. my daughter was 7, i was a single mom and i was left with a business that was quarter million in debt and no income except for what i could generate. it was a really scary time because i wanted my daughter to have everything and i wanted my school to prevail.
even though i was totally terrified, in an insecure financial position and had so much responsibility, i had to go beyond myself and my doubts. without those intense demands, and without the discipline of pleasure, i never would have grown into myself as mom, business owner or educator.
my success, which has been beyond my imagination – the school growing so big, its impact so wide – was a direct result of having no recourse but to be successful. i simply had to stand in my power and make it work.
all courtesans always start with nothing. ‘nothing’ is a wonderful beginning to everything. dire straits give you the opportunity to be so creative."
your beliefs that are behind your brilliance:
"women are the greatest untapped natural resource in the world.
the divine feminine lives within me and every single woman; the way to access that is through the discipline of pleasure.
it’s up to women to awaken other women through our self-love.
you can be a bonfire, but you have you bring your own fuel."
the world you see possible that others may or may not see:
"when you doubt and depreciate yourself, you teach your daughter to doubt and question herself. if, while you raise your daughter, you love your self, prioritize pleasure, know the value of your joy, and are strong in your voice and opinion, then you spread the infectious virus of self love and to every woman and girl.
i see a world of sisterhood, where women walking down the street see sister and see divinity when they look at each other. when women are supporting each other's dreams and desires, it's as though you add jet fuel propulsion.
once a woman's voice is heard with equal measure to the masculine, there will be balance in the world."