one of my clients came to me with the express demand that i draw out a map for her to her Purpose, her Calling, her True Voice and her Wise Feminine Power.

she wanted a list of steps and an order in which to take them.  stat.

when i told her the Feminine Divine don’t work like that, that the Big She eats maps and blueprints for breakfast (and then wipes her chin with plans), my client was having none of it.  months and months of none of it, of feeling stuck and pissed about it.

at one of our last meetings, a light went on in her brain and ten pounds sloughed off her face as she shared her thunderbolt ah-ha:

that her very desire for a map wasn’t allowing her to take even one step.  she desperately wanted to know what she was here on earth to contribute, she so wanted to leave her footprint, but wasn’t willing to start walking.

since that moment, the world has flung open its arms to her, cheering.

it’s astonishing.

she feels a growing clarity about her soul’s journey (aka her Purpose), set a date to quit her corporate job, created timelines for two (freakin’ awesome) businesses to have up and running by her last day of work, has created a plan/prayer/party for a year of travel, and is radiant.

she told me since she feels like a million bucks, the ROI on our work together is something like eleven thousand percent. 😉

sometimes you have to give up following a blueprint, for your own path to appear.

personally, i’m now over my own obsessive love affair with blueprints.  it was an unrequited love spanning three decades, but we’ve recently had a nice conscious un-coupling.

i wish i were the kind of person for whom blueprints opened doors and spelled success.  plenty are.

but for me, like my client, maps are like a noose around the neck of my soul.

the more i curve my unruly voice into the sturdy structure of a plan, the more my joy leaks out of my pores.

creating your own blueprint is awful and awesome.  it’s exhilarating to carve into bedrock with your fragile fingernails the next handhold on your steep rocky climb.

it’s like feeling around in a dark room for the light switch.  it’s like following the trail of a scent that smells like Home.

it’s disorderly and wild. it’s scary as shit.  it takes an infuriatingly long time.  it comes astoundingly quick.

creating your own map is deciding to be humble and audacious enough to be lead by and to trust-fall into the Great Grand Knowing.

and to trust that even when i’m flat on my ass, the Big She’s got my back.

p.s. when you find your way, you help show us our own.