i’m going to guess you (like me) love your productivity muscles. checking things off my to-do lists is still kind of a turn-on.
maybe you started a business from scratch that’s now rockin’ and rollin’. have mastered how to do it yourself (because would it get done at all if left to someone else?). know how to invest in a business development program that promises a 10x return on your money. how to measure success by how many new clients came, how high your rates raised, how much your income increased.
maybe you have have nice stretches of time where you feel like superwoman or supermom, juggling in your eight arms your grocery list, green juice, gym shoes and cute new panties.
i’m going to guess you (like me) for the most part (hey, we all have our mucky days) got the go-out-and-get-shit done thing DOWN.
i spent most of my life bowing to the god of productivity.
on the light side, i loved the rush of deleting line items. success seems easy to measure with check-boxes checked and bottom lines met.
on the dark side, however
:: i figured: once you work really hard, once you get enough done, then you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labors.
:: i assumed: the amount you struggle and sweat is commensurate to your success.
then, it was pointed out to me that you don’t get “success” NOW by working hard now to earn it later.
if you don’t know how to feel successful, or happy, or joyful NOW, you’ll never feel it LATER, because all we ever have is a series of RIGHT NOWs.
put off success for later and it never comes. put off pleasure and satisfaction for later and it never comes.
i could get a whole lot done, but it never came for me.
:: i bow to the fact that you can get some major stuff done, Woman.
:: but when you look up and look around and ask, “now what?” that’s when it gets really interesting.
:: your core desires?
:: feeling, in your bones right now, a joyful jolt of ‘this is my life!’?
:: being willing to let things COME TO YOU, and to LET THEM IN when they come?
:: being able to savor RIGHT NOW, to open the aperture of your senses and let life flood in, filling your being with sensual pleasure?
:: feeling silky in your skin?
:: balancing out your get-it-done “masculine” power with your magnetize-it-to-you “feminine” power?
:: feeling your heart sheer open from the tenderness between you and your beloved?
:: yodeling one of your most delish desires from the rooftop of your heart, only to watch it show up, resplendent, the very next week in your life?
:: measuring your success ALSO by how much pleasure and love you experience in your day?
yes, you get shit done. but, now what?
today i got this email from a phenomenal, powerful woman who just joined my new mentorship program.
(it’s a program all about the “now what”. it’s all about helping women source her inner guidance, let loose her desires and channel her embodied genius into her living and loving. it’s a beaut. i’m a proud mama. stay tuned; i’ll be unveiling it soon.)
“so looking forward to it … and it’s been amazing to see myself go through bouts of talking myself out of even doing it. i would not even hesitate to spend this money on business development. but on embodiment/more intimacy…? the choice has not been so easy. goes to show you what I currently value and am putting my attention on. I am looking forward to stepping into the deeply connected ME … thank you in advance for stepping up to provide this experience for me to re-pattern my beliefs and heal my feminine desires.”
it can be a strange thing to invest in your desires. fund your feminine power. put your money where your intimacy is. it can be odd to value your pleasure … delight … deep satisfaction … embodied expression … and union with life itself … like you would a marketing course.
we as a culture overlook these things entirely. mistrust them. dismiss them. they live in the realm of INCALCULABLE and PRICELESS.
they also just happen to be what fuels the engine of Woman.
and a well-fueled Woman in turn fills life with meaning.
line item delight?
bottom line pleasure?
ROI full expression?
it takes COURAGE to value this stuff. it takes MOXIE to invest your time, creativity, money and energy into them. it takes a LEAP OF FAITH to call your desires important enough to prioritize.
whenever you invest in fueling your Woman’s engine, there likely will be some calculable tangibles like new clients that feel dreamy to work with. a raise. clarity on a new program that fills with more ease. more money and business growth. all of which is always good.
but, the bigger returns are hard to put a price on. i wish they were more valued. but for now, it’s up to us to value them first.
there’s a line from the movie, Dead Poet’s Society, in which Robin Williams’ character implores his students to awaken their hearts and their desires, which i’ll paraphrase:
“engineering, accounting, doctoring, lawyering, coaching, entrepreneuring; these are all noble pursuits and necessary to maintain life.
but love. intimacy. desires. art. poetry. sex. joy. pleasure. creative expression: these are what we stay alive FOR.”
so, your mission, should you choose to accept it:
i call this a Somatization. it’s like a visualization, but run through the genius of your body, your “soma.”
:: hint: this is a good one to help balance your “masculine” power with your “feminine” power. it will help you let things also come to you and also let them in when they come.
1. pick a Desire.
this Desire can be a big or small deal – like your right-fit partner or a red mini skirt; to make partner or to do a triathalon.
(for our purposes, let’s go with your right-fitting partner.)
2. what do you FEEL like when you are with (or have) this Desire? (yes, even if he/she’s not here yet!)
if we saw inside you, what emotions, sensations and thoughts would be there?
(let’s say, when you’re with your right-fitting partner you feel sassy, at peace, beautiful and excited.)
if we saw you from the outside, what would you be doing?
(when you’re with your right-fitting partner, you’re laughing, speaking your desires freely, and dancing more)
3. what does THIS YOU know or believe about herself and the world?
(let’s say, when you are with your right-fitting partner, you know you are deeply lovable and always were. you know the world is a place that’s clapping it’s hands every time more love blooms between two people.)
4. step into this VERSION OF YOU and fully feel her experience.
(this is the version of you who’s with her right-fitting partner. fully feel her experience. soak it in like you’re a sea sponge.)
5. that’s it. you just did a Somatization. this is how you will know your Desire when it comes to you. i suggest practicing this 1-5 minutes a day.
(you can do this on the bus, on the toilet, or at your altar. it’s all good.)
but before you go, do share with me what your Desire was, that you Somaticized, and maybe even how it was to Somaticize it, ok?
here’s to your COURAGE. your MOXIE. your LEAP OF FAITH. and ma bien sur, your DESIRES.